Learning Together

This post is so relevant to my life right now that I just had to share.  So much of my day is spent learning with Andrew how to do this thing called parenthood.  :)

What I Wish I'd Known with Baby #1

by Rachel from My Baby Sleep Guide

The first few months after my first child, Joshua, was born were rough. OK, I'm under-exaggerating that. He cried endlessly, didn't sleep and I was a basket case. Maybe you've been there. It's not a pretty sight. 

The second time around went much smoother. I knew what to expect, I thought a lot about how I wanted to do things, and I learned piles of stuff through experiences, my own and others. Maybe this is your first child and maybe this is your fifth. Either way, sometimes we all need a moment to take a look at the bigger picture, remember what to expect and maybe even get a few pointers. 


Here's my list of what I wish I'd known with Joshua, or baby #1. Much is related to sleep, but not all.

• Remember, life with a baby is a journey, not a destination. Keep the end goal of great sleep etc. in mind, but don't get so distracted trying to reach it that you forget to live and enjoy the journey.
• Make sure to let baby fall asleep on you every once in a while. It is one of those precious moments that will stay with you forever.
• We all have our bad days, babies included. So don't freak out and jump to every possible conclusion when they happen! You will stress yourself out for no reason at all. If things last for more than a day or two, then it is time to start the investigation.
• Consistency pays off. It really does. 
• An overtired child, particularly a baby, is your worst nightmare. Mess up all over the place, but do not even go there! See waketimes and sleep cues for some pointers.
• It's OK to not be supermom every second of every day. Everyone needs to ask for help sometimes. Consider it practice at being humble.
• Someone, somewhere out there will always be critical about how you raise your child, especially how you sleep train and discipline him. Forget about it. As long as you are keeping your child safe, happy, healthy and loved, then you are doing the right thing.
• Children are hard. They take a lot of work. They stress you out. At the same time, raising them will likely the best thing you ever do.
• Babies have different personalities. Some are easier than others. It is a fact of life (albeit an unfair one!). Some sleep great no matter what. Some have quite a few sleep problems even if things are done perfectly. That is how it goes. If you fall into the doesn't sleep great party, that's OK. It doesn't mean you are a bad parent, and it doesn't mean there is something wrong with your child. Sleep just isn't one of his strengths. I'm sure he has many others.
• Motherhood is full of small, but great moments. Focus on those. 
• Be patient with sleep. It takes some babies a while to get it. If it takes them a month longer than their older sister or cousin it doesn't matter. They have their own time table. Their uniqueness makes them special.
• Tomorrow is a new day. It doesn't matter what happened yesterday or the day before. Time to start afresh. 
• If you think your baby has colic, rule out overtiredness first. Because that is very possibly the problem.
• Everyone needs support sometimes. Someone to talk to. Someone to give you a hug. Knowing you are not the only one going through something does wonders.
• Comparing your child's sleep to others is only sometimes useful as a reference point, not a copy point. Your child is not their child. Your child has his own needs and his own strengths and weaknesses.
• Sometimes there is no reason for what is going on. No reason at all. Sorry, but it's true.
• Babies have different personalities and will respond to your routine in different ways. Work with your baby, not againsthim when making your routine.
• Be flexible. Don't be so ruled by your routine you are unable to enjoy life, unable to enjoy your baby and unable to follow your mommy instinct. Adjust your routine to fit you and baby.
• Life with a young baby is full of phases. Much of what happens is just a phase. That's it. Some have names and causes (teething, learning a new skill) and some appear nameless and causeless. But guess what. Each of these phases do pass! Keep that in mind when you feel at your wit's end.
• Relax. Enjoy life. Enjoy your baby. He will not be little forever. You won't do everything perfectly and that is OK! If you're perfect, how will your child learn what he doesn't want to do as a parent when he grows up :)
• A sleep association is not the end of the world. In fact, it is much preferable to a mom pulling out all her hair, going half insane and a baby getting no sleep at all. Yes, start as you mean to go on, but only if the end result will be a pleasing one. There are many things worse than a prop dependent baby.
• Your baby is not a machine. The same thing goes for you. Do not expect perfection on either front. Do not expect things to go exactly by the book. They won't. Thinking so will result in piles of stress and, sometimes, a feeling of failure.
• You are doing better than you think you are. You are really are!
• Remember to take time out for yourself sometimes. You need it and most importantly, you deserve it!

Rachel blogs at My Baby Sleep Guide.

30 Days of Thankfulness - Days 8-15

So I've been really good about recognizing something to be thankful for every day; but not so good at posting them here.  I've had remarkably less free time on my hands these last 2 months.  So here is a whole week's worth at once.

Day 8 - I am thankful for my husband.  He is my best friend, and has been such a good Daddy to Andrew.  He has especially made a point of taking care of me and A. for the past 7 weeks.  He made breakfast for me and brought it to me for the first 3 weeks we were home from the hospital.  He cleans up the kitchen and the living room before he heads off to work in the morning.  He gets up and holds my hand when I'm up feeding A. in the middle of the night.  He is there for us when we need him.  I love you!

Day 9 - I am thankful for my sister-in-law.  All of my in-laws are fabulous, and I am so fortunate to have them in my life.  Seriously, I couldn't have married into a better family.  But today, I'm especially thankful for Karri.  She is so kind and giving, and is constantly doing things for others.  Today, she gave me a ton of baby clothes-enough to fully clothe A. for the next year.  Such a blessing to us!

Day 10 - I am thankful for my parents.  They have showed me how to love God, have a lasting marriage (32 years!), be a parent, have good work ethics and how to be a good person and citizen of our country.  Not to say that they are perfect, but they have been wonderful role models for me.

Day 11 - I am thankful for all of our Veteran's.  I come from a long line of family members who have served our country both during times of peace and times of war.  And, then I married into a family who also believes in serving our country.  So today I am especially thankful for my grandpa, dad, brother, father-in-law, 2 brother-in-laws, cousins, uncles, the best man at our wedding, and all the others who serve our country so that I may have the liberties in my life that we so often take for granted.

My little younger brother

Day 12 - I am thankful for household chores and laundry that got done!  It has been quite a while since I have been able to accomplish much housework, so I am grateful for the time and energy I had today to get some things done around the house.

Day 13 - Today was a special day as Beckett Dane Hicks was born.  He is the long-awaited and much loved son of my dear friend  Heidi.  She had a pretty rough pregnancy.  She'd never say so, or complain, but in my opinion it was tougher than most.  She is an example to me-it would have been so easy for her to focus on the many difficulties she faced.  Instead, she consistently praised God and focused on her journey to becoming a mother.  Welcome to the world Beckett!

Day 14 - I am very fortunate.  I have a career that I love.  Working as a school counselor in both elementary schools and high schools has been such a blessing in my life.  Sure, like any job, there are some things that aren't perfect or that I don't enjoy.  But for the most part, I love everything about my job and have a passion for helping kids of all ages.  And, I feel blessed that I am able to work part-time this year while I focus on and figure out how to be a mom.

Day 15 - I am thankful for developmental milestone charts-they ease my anxious mind.  Obsessive I know, but it is a hazard of my occupation.  It's just that I know what a difference early intervention can make if there is a developmental delay, and how important it is to get support right away if your child needs it.  Most people tell me not to worry, just check with my doctor.  But the truth is, I don't trust that completely.  I've seen too many situations where the first time a parent heard their child had autism or was mildly mentally retarded was after testing in Kindergarten, and not from their doctor.  It was devastating to see that.  Not only for the family, but also for the child since they just missed out on intervention during the most critical years.  So yes, I obsess a little.  And check developmental milestone charts all the time frequently.  Of course Andrew is perfect to me, but the milestone charts tell me not to worry about his development-we are right on track.

30 Days of Thankfulness - Day 7

I am thankful for a lazy morning.

It has been hectic the last few months days.  I love busy, but this has been a whole new ball game, and the learning curve has been quite steep.  Today, the weather was cold (for us at least - 60 degrees), and kind of cloudy.  It was the perfect morning to take a deep breath, relax, and snuggle with A.  We spent the morning napping, cuddling, and my favorite, reading.  I have always loved reading, and now that I work in education, I understand how important early literacy and developing a love of books at a young age is.  Fortunately, A. seems to love books already too!

These are his current favorites.

And yes, that is a pile of dirty laundry on the floor in the right hand corner.  But what is a lazy morning for if not to play hooky and ignore all of the things that you "should be doing".

30 Days of Thankfulness - Day 6

Today, I am thankful for God.  Growing up, I was fortunate enough to begin my walk with God at an early age that has continued into adulthood.  Those early years really set the foundation for the faith that I have now, and I was reminded of that as I watched my nephew being baptized today.  We couldn't be prouder of him.

30 Days of Thankfulness - Day 5

I am thankful for our friends and family who have showered their love, help, advice and gifts on us for A. We have been truly blessed.  When A. arrived, there wasn't anything we lacked or that wasn't provided for us.  As I finished writing thank you cards to our loved ones for the many visits & packages that have arrived since A. was born, I realized how many people are already a special part of his life, and how truly blessed we are to have such great friends and family.

30 Days of Thankfulness - Day 4

I am thankful for my crockpot.

I have never been a good cook, and I don't really like to cook.  To be honest, it always seemed like way too much work, and I don't eat a lot.  But, once I got married, not cooking for 2 of us wasn't really an option.  Since I get home from work anywhere from 2-4 hours before G., it makes sense that I'm the one to prepare dinner for us most nights.

So I started off with easy - and that's where my crockpot came in.  I have a beautiful, stoneware, 6 quart crockpot that I got as a Christmas present from my brother.  I began to look us easy recipes that I could prepare the night before and then let cook in the crockpot all day.

Since then, I have become a much better cook, and do venture outside of the crockpot for dinner.  However, I still love finding great new recipes that I can cook in the crockpot.  And on busy days like I have had for the last few weeks, a crockpot meal is a life saver!  Tonight's dinner = Green Chili Carnitas
And yes, I've been told that green chili's are not considered a pantry "staple ingredient" in other parts of the country, but here in the southwest it is!

Green Chili Carnitas
Ingredients
2 cups of chicken broth
Pork shoulder roast
1 onion, diced
1 14 oz can of green chili
Corn or flour tortillas
Salt and Pepper
Olive Oil

Toppings (optional)
Salsa
Cheese
Sour cream
Chopped green onions

Directions
Season pork roast with salt and pepper and place in crockpot.  Pour 1 1/2 cups of chicken broth into the crockpot and cook on low for 10-12 hours (on high 5-6 hours), or until pork roast is cooked and shreds easily.  Remove roast from crockpot and shred meat, removing any fat. Place shredded pork into a casserole dish or large cookware. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

While oven is heating, pour a tablespoon of olive oil into a saucepan over medium-high heat.  Saute diced yellow onion in olive oil until it turns golden.  Add in green chili and remaining 1/2 a cup of chicken broth and cook until mixture is heated through.  Add mixture to the shredded pork and mix thoroughly.  Place dish in the oven and bake for 45 minutes.

Serve on flour or corn tortilla's, and top with desired toppings.

30 Days of Thankfulness - Day 3

I am thankful for our beautiful "Fall" weather.  I am so thankful that A. and I can get out of the house and take walks during the day.  Our highs have been in the low 80's/high 70's the last few days with blue, clear, & sunny skies.  It isn't traditional "fall" weather, but right now, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

30 Days of Thankfulness - Day 2

Yesterday I wrote about how much our lives have changed since A. was born. One way that I knew was going to be tough for me would be the amount of sleep I would get for quite a while. I need like a lot of sleep. I’ve always been one of those people who would sleep 9 hours a night to be fully functional. Needless to say, I haven’t been getting 9 hours of sleep a night for the past few weeks. At first it wasn’t so bad. I was hyped up on adrenaline and A. slept for hours on end and I could take naps. And G. was getting up with me every time that A. woke up and helped put him back to bed so I could go right back to sleep after A. ate. But as time went on, G. couldn’t keep up with being up all night and being at work all day as well. And since I could nap during the day, I told him he needed to stop getting up all the time with us and that I would wake him up if I needed him. Then, A. stopped sleeping as well during the day, became quite a bit fussier, and my naps disappeared. (I’m told that the first few weeks of a newborn’s life is truly a honeymoon period and that this is completely normal) After 6 weeks of only getting 3 hours of sleep in a row at most, I was running on empty.

 And then, A. went 7 hours between feedings, and I got 6 hours of sleep. I feel like a new woman-my tank is full again. I so am thankful for God’s perfect timing.

30 Days of Thankfulness - Day 1

A couple of years ago, my dear friend Heidi did a Blessings Calendar. I was inspired by the idea, but not nearly as creative or as crafty as she is! So this year, I'm committing to recognizing the blessings in my life by doing 30 days of thankfulness. Today is Day 1. I am so very blessed and thankful for my family. A few weeks ago, our beautiful baby boy was born, and our lives have been forever changed. G. is a wonderful husband and father, and A. is everything we could have hoped for. I am blessed indeed!